What’s Love Got to Do With It? Stage 4: Engagement

So you asked her to marry you, congrats. So, he finally got up the nerve to “pop the question.” Excellent.

Welcome, to the less than romantic part of being in relationship.

If dating is about having fun and courtship is about becoming friends, then engagement is about preparing for the future.

If you are the guy, you are now considering houses, jobs, and other practical things that will be necessary to have a smooth transition into marriage. If you are the girl, you are thinking about the wedding, the cost of the wedding, and all other things to do with the wedding.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

Normally, if you are able to stay together happily through the engagement period your are really serious about the relationship. Why? Because friends, being engaged is a marathon and not a sprint…or at least it is if it is done right.

Do NOT Rush Your Engagement

Now, I have friends who would object to this, but I do believe in the old maxim that “good things come to those who wait…forever.” That is what it should seem like when you are engaged, you should be constantly contemplating the future and all that is in store for you for the rest of your life. You should give plenty of time to bail out if you need to. Why am I saying that? Because it is much better to break an engagement than to run out of a wedding or worse to serve divorce papers.

You need to take the time to pray, to discuss, and to listen so that you can build your future marriage on wisdom rather than haphazardly throwing something together and hoping it does not crash and burn.

You also need time to do all of the crap you have to do set your marital foundation. In Jewish culture the groom would go a build a home for his wife to live in. Some of you should never even touch a hammer, much less build an entire structure. However, you do need to acquire a house and you need to have jobs in place (both the husband and wife should work at the beginning…it is just smarter that way). You also want to give yourself space to plan an awesome wedding (that is a total waste of money for one day of royal treatment, but I guess it is a good waste) and have all of the details worked out. If you have to throw a wedding together; chances are it won’t be pretty and she will not be happy.

To Be Continued: Next- Engagement is Not Marriage